Ask HN: I’m Lost. Help?

Hi HN, long time reader and commenter, using a throwaway for fairly obvious reasons. Context: Grew up (very) poor, but in a loving family. I’ve been a programmer since I was a kid, went to a top3 CS school, worked at banks, large tech companies, and in the intelligence community for a few years. I founded a company, raised, ran it for about a decade, and sold it just before the pandemic (good timing). The acquirer was a shitshow, and the two years I was there was a massive mess, especially during the pandemic. The transition from in-office work to remote work was also hard, as I’m definitely an extrovert and missed… people. Granted, remote isn’t the same as “forced to stay home and everything is closed due to the pandemic” but still. So now it’s been a year since I left the acquirer, and I feel … lost. I was definitely burnt out both by the startup (cofounder issues) and by the acquirer (see earlier description of it being a poorly run shitshow), but I find myself passionless and sad. I have an incredible wife, great home, etc., and generally am happy with life most of the time, but I’m having really bad trouble figuring out what I want to do, even though seemingly every option is available – starting something, finding a job, etc. I’ve spent this year getting married and then traveling, which was fantastic, and I definitely feel less burnt out – but how do you get to the point where you find a passion again? Is this something anyone else has faced? It feels hard to talk about with friends because it can come off as bragging; financially, I’m well set, and I love my family / relationship and my friends, so it almost feels unfair for me to be passionless and lacking the desire to do… anything. How do I get back to who I was, in terms of feeling driven to solve problems and make impact? I feel like I’ve lost who I once was and don’t know how to get it back. Open to any and all advice, and happy holidays. Thanks for reading my missive. <3
Story Published at: December 28, 2022 at 05:25AM