Ask HN: How do you and your spouse handle big income differences?

I met my wife about 12 years ago and at the time, we were making about the same salary ~$70k. Over the years both our salaries went up about the same until we both got to the $100k mark. About 5 years ago her career has really accelerated and her total comp is 2.5x what I’m making. On top of her salary, she hit the startup lotto and had a large cash buyout. We had a hard time dealing with this at first, I was jealous and a little bitter, and she was worried that I was taking advantage of the situation. In the end, we decided that the buyout money would go to retirement and not be touched. As for out salary, we decided that we would both spend as if we both made my salary, and anything above that, she would put in a rainy day fund for home improvements or traveling etc. This arrangement kind of worked until it came time to use that rainy day funds and she started feeling that we were spending her money. I’ve heard of this situation with Lawyers/Doctors where one spouse supported the other while they went to school, but once they started to practice, the income spread was huge. How have FANG engineers or anyone else with a big income disparity learned to deal with the situation?
Story Published at: August 24, 2022 at 11:02PM